The author highlights two outrageous tweets: one woman bragging about her “tits cannons” and making her submissive lick her toes, and a man injecting his son’s blood while sharing his girlfriend’s top 1% vaginal microbiome report. They call this the funniest morning scroll they’ve had.

• A woman bragging about her "tit cannons" made her submissive lick her toes in a viral video
• A man who injects his son's blood publicly shared his girlfriend's vaginal microbiome report claiming she ranks in the top 1% for vaginal health
• Reactions split between praising the woman's sexual confidence and calling it performative attention-seeking
• The blood/microbiome post drew ethical concerns about injecting a child with blood and broadcasting private medical data as a bragging tool

A Twitter post notes that a new TikTok is circulating wildly, with husbands sending it to their wives en masse. User @bebookled calls it “one of the best TikToks” they’ve ever seen.

• A TikTok by @bebookled is being sent by husbands to their wives en masse today.
• @mostlypeaceful's tweet highlights this trend of mass spousal sharing.
• The commenter (quoted as Mrs. Bendell Werry) called it "one of the best TikToks I've ever seen."
• No actual content or description of the TikTok itself is given, only reactions to it.

Nate Silver recounts how Facebook and Twitter once drove traffic by rewarding emotional, low-quality content, undermining analytical journalism like FiveThirtyEight’s. He shows that social media now contributes almost nothing to his Substack’s audience while Twitter’s top-engaged accounts remain extreme, partisan, and low-quality.

• Social referrals made up just 0.7% of Silver Bulletin's traffic in March despite readership growing 40% year over year, showing social media is now nearly irrelevant to his audience growth.
• Twitter/X search traffic has declined more than 50% since its late-2012 peak, per third-party data.
• Both Facebook and Twitter shifted over time from rewarding quality/expertise to rewarding emotional, low-quality, partisan content, undermining analytical journalism.
• Facebook's algorithm changes and inflated video metrics in the mid-2010s drove publishers toward clickbait while delivering shallow, low-engagement traffic.

This tweet simply says “happy easter!!” as a brief holiday greeting. It offers no further commentary or media.

• A user posted a two-word "happy easter!!" tweet with no images, links, or additional commentary.
• The tweet's only notable feature is its timing, posted on Easter Sunday to align with the holiday mood.